Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Don't Look Back

Tonight, I saw Boston and Kansas in concert at the local state fair.

I can appreciate a good show, even if I'm not a huge fan of the band...
but Kansas... should probably retire.

At first, I thought - maybe this isn't the original lead singer. Then the guitarist introduced him as the man who has been singing Dust in the Wind for 39 years.  Then I felt old, as I am 39. He just seemed like a senior citizen trying too hard - they all did.

Boston... was harder. Without Brad Delp, it was not the same. The new guy was OK, but I wanted to tie his hands behind his back. He just looked like he could have been the lead character in Rock Star... in that he was fronting his dream band. It just didn't seem natural. He doesn't have Delp's range.

Tom Scholz was still amazing. I've heard stories about how neurotic, and what a perfectionist he was... and well, that's how I've heard Jon Bon Jovi is as well... maybe that works for me.

But I do know this... too many rockers are dying too young. And it's just not OK. I wish there was something that I could do to help the ones that struggle too hard with depression and addictions, and being what we all like to call a 'has been.'

May I never know what it feels like to be a has been.



Friday, July 27, 2012

Keep the Faith

Keep the Faith

Mother mother tell your children
That their time has just begun
I have suffered for my anger
There are wars that can't be won

Father father please believe me
I am laying down my guns
I am broken like an arrow
Forgive me
Forgive your wayward son

Everybody needs somebody to love
(mother, mother)
Everybody needs somebody to hate
(please believe me)
Everybodys bitching
Cause they can't get enough
And it's hard to hold on
When there's no one to lean on

Faith: you know you're gonna live thru the rain
Lord you got to keep the faith
Faith: don't let your love turn to hate
Right now we got to
Keep the faith
Keep the faith
Keep the faith
Lord we got to keep the faith

Tell me baby when I hurt you
Do you keep it all inside
Do you tell me als forgiven
And just hide behind your pride

Everybody needs somebody to love
(mother, father)
Everybody needs somebody to hate
(please don't leave me)
Everybodys bleeding
Cause the times are tough
Well it's hard to be strong
When there's no one to dream on

Faith: you know you're gonna live thru the rain
Lord you got to keep the faith
Now you know is not too late
Oh you got to keep the faith
Faith: don't let your love turn to hate
Right now we got to
Keep the faith
Keep the faith
Keep the faith
Lord we got to keep the faith

Walking in the footsteps
Of societys lies
I don't like what I see no more
Sometimes I wish that I was blind
Sometimes I wait forever

To stand out in the rain
So no one sees me cryin
Trying to wash away the pain
Mother father

There's things Ive done I can't erase
Every night we fall from grace

Its hard with the world in yours face
Trying to hold on, trying to hold on

Faith: you know you're gonna live thru the rain
Lord you got to keep the faith
Faith: don't let your love turn to hate
Right now we got to keep the faith
Faith: now it's not too late
Try to hold on, trying to hold on
Keep the faith



Today, I attended the funeral of two of my childhood friends' mother. It was gut-wrenching, and of course, I feel awful for the two of them, and kept thinking that someday, I will have to bury my parents, too. And I think I'm fortunate in that I'm almost 40 and my parents are both still with me.

And I couldn't help thinking... that M was a good mom to me, too -- in that she was always way more accepting of everything I am and was than my own mother was -- even with the same religious (Southern Baptist) background. And she will be missed, even though I didn't keep in regular touch with her over the years (I did see her just a couple of months ago, after Donna died). You know what made me feel good today? That I've succeeded. I was the kid that got out, broke the patterns, and made more out of myself than anyone ever thought I could after I got pregnant at 19.

Keep the Faith. 

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Blood, Sweat and Beers, 21 years later

Last night, I went to see Trixter/Firehouse/Warrant on their 21 year reunion tour.  I had a great time, but the evening was full of memories - good, bad and other.

Trixter... I have kept in my brain for 20+ years. Their self-titled album from 1990 was the anthem for my late teens, and much of my 20s. I love that album as much as I love Slippery When Wet. I think, quite possibly, I do have a thing for Jersey boys. *sigh*

Review of the show:
Trixter --
- Impressed that Pete Loran can still hit those notes, and still has a great voice. I still remember him 21 years ago, limping around on stage in a cast from a dirt-bike incident.
- Steve Brown and PJ Farley apparently hit puberty since their first tour, and cannot hit those notes.
- PJ Farley has, quite possibly, the most impressive abs I've seen in a LONG time.
- Mark Scott is as fun as ever
- Thanked Jani Lane for making the original tour such a success

Firehouse --
-- WOW, CJ Snare!! After all those years, and at 52 yrs of age, you have a hell of a voice!!
- They should have been the headliner
- I was impressed how many songs from FireHouse that I remembered and still loved
-- I do not, however, remember that CJ was also the keyboard player.
- Did not mention Jani Lane

Warrant -
-- The new lead singer is like David Lee Roth and Jani Lane had a love child
-- He did Jani proud, I think, but did not thank Jani (see above)
- Isn't the same.
-- Really, an album called Rockaholic?!?!? That's... wrong... on so many levels.
-- I will never hear Heaven again and not want to cry.
-- Jerry Dixon, still, and forever, looks like he doesn't want to be there

Review of the venue:
-- Small
-- Weird, quirky location in the middle of nowhere (Chesaning, MI anyone?)
-- Volunteer staff? Odd. Friendly though
-- Buggy
-- CHEAP. $8 each for 8 drink wine tasting?
-- HOT. How can something 5 hours north of me be 15 degrees hotter?
-- Massive technical issues. CJ's mic even went out, Pete's did at one point, and in general, too many technical issues

All in all, Trixter and Firehouse didn't disappoint... Warrant was good, but will never be the same to me without Jani. I would have been fine, had Jani still been alive... but with him gone, so much of it just brought back memories.

I ended the weekend by seeing Rock of Ages again with my traveling companion, the man who introduced me to Trixter 22 years ago. It seemed... fitting.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Like JBJ himself, I was first introduced to this song by Jeff Buckley, and it first made me cry during an episode of West Wing where Mark Harmon died. I will remember that episode always.

I rewatched the 2010 or 2011 (not sure which) Vh1 Unplugged Bon Jovi special tonight, and wow. I think this song was written specifically for Jon's voice. I wonder what Leonard Cohen -- and Jeff Buckley -- think now.

The words have never made a lot of sense to me, but they're beautiful when strung together, and almost trance-like.

Hallelujah, and g'nite.


"Hallelujah"

I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Baby I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

There was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you
The holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Maybe there’s a God above
But all I’ve ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
It’s not a cry you can hear at night
It’s not somebody who has seen the light
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well, really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light in every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Rock of Ages

I saw Rock of Ages when it came to Columbus almost two years ago now. Oh, how time flies. When I saw the musical, Constantine played Drew, and he was fantastic. And the guy playing Stacee Jaxx did not kill Wanted Dead or Alive, which I always fear with Bon Jovi covers.

I did not feel as passionately happy with Rock of Ages the movie. I was impressed by Tom Cruise, who I generally actively dislike, and somehow, he managed to pull off not only the role of an aging rocker, but one who could at least passably sing... which surprised me.

The musical contained a cover of Oh, Sherrie and I was sad that they left it out of the movie. I felt it was a cheesy part of the script that made a big part of the musical for me.

I almost cried when they did the intro to Heaven, by Warrant. I was a Warrant fan back when they were a nobody, playing 1000 person venues, and happy to do so. Jani Lane hasn't even been dead a year, and he died at 47. The jokes about the aging rockers? Are mostly true. I'm so, so happy that Jon Bon Jovi hasn't followed the same path. I am very thankful for that, and hopefully, someday, will get to tell him just what he and his music have meant to me.

Rock of Ages made me sad. The kid who plays Drew, Diego Boneta bears a striking resemblance to my oldest son - the same hair, the same eyes, the same build, the same stance with a guitar. I saw so very many concerts while I was pregnant with him (about 40 different bands) - and now that he's the epitome of the teenage rocker, pot-smoking, guitar-playing bum...

did the life I lead as a young person... as basically the wannabe groupie ... give me the very child that I so wanted to be?


Thursday, June 7, 2012

Who Says You Can't Go Home?

"I spent 20 years trying to get out of this place
I was looking for something I couldn't replace
I was running away from the only thing I've ever known
Like a blind dog without a bone
I was a gypsy lost in the twilight zone
I hijacked a rainbow and crashed into a pot of gold
I been there, done thatand I ain't lookin' back on the seeds I've sown,
Saving dimes, spending too much time on the telephone
Who says you can't go home?"

I feel like I've spent the last 22 years, specifically, trying to get out of my hometown. To get away from everyone I've ever known, to start fresh.

Now, I'm 6 months away from doing just that, with the plan to return in a year.

What if I find, I can't return? Or that I don't want to?

I think I found Tommy. 
And maybe, I'm still trying to live on a prayer.

That's it... I am.
And if you think about it, who isn't?
A hope, a prayer, a dream?

I hope that 10 years from now, I'm still hijacking rainbows. And with the two I love, and my two children to share that with me.


Thursday, May 24, 2012

It's My Life

As I'm approaching 40, I've found myself making different decisions. Riskier decisions, I think. Why? Because it's my life, and now that my kids are grown, I find myself saying "it's now or never."

I've been accused of telling the stories of my life as if they were all a bunch of 80s songs - even when they didn't pertain to me specifically.

But I'm OK with that. I'm not at all sorry that I've lived my life the way that I have, and that now, as I'm starting my 40th year (I will be 40 in 10 months), I look at life and love differently.

And I'm OK with that. It's My Life.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Sleep When I'm Dead...

I've been an insomniac, I think since birth... but definitely as long as I can remember. Just a few short hours ago, I fell asleep only to wake up 3 hours later *wide* awake.

Of course, I'm sunburned as all get out from Bamboozlefest, and that is keeping me from sleeping more than anything else I think. So tonight I bring you:

Seven days of saturday 
Is all that I need 
Got no use for Sunday 
'Cause I don't rest in peace 
Don't need no Mondays 
Or the rest of the week 
I spend a lot of time in bed 
But baby I don't like to sleep no 

I won't lie to you 
I'm never gonna cry to you 
I'll probably drive you wild 8 days a week 

Until I'm 6 feet under 
Baby I don't need a bed 
Gonna live while I'm alive 
I'll sleep when I'm dead 
Till they roll me over 
And lay my bones to rest 
Gonna live while I'm alive 
I'll sleep when I'm dead 

So you're looking for some action 
I got got everything you need 
Better keep your motor running 
'cause I was built for speed 
This ain't no slumber party 
Got no time for catching z's 
If they say that that ain't healthy 
Well then living's a disease 

We're never going to die baby 
Come on let me drive you crazy 
We'll make every night another New Year's Eve 

Till I'm six feet under 
I won't need a bed 
Gonna live while I'm alive 
I'll sleep when I'm dead 
Till they roll me over 
And lay my bones to rest 
Gonna live while I'm alive 
I'll sleep when I'm dead 

Sleep when I'm dead, sleep when I'm dead 
Gonna live while I'm alive, 
I'll sleep when I'm dead 
Seven days of Saturday 
Is all that I need 

Got no use for Sunday 
'Cause I don't rest in peace 
I was born to live 
You know I wasn't born to die 
But if they party down in heaven 
I'll be sure to be on time 

Until I'm six feet under 
I don't need a bed 
Gonna live while I'm alive 
I'll sleep when I'm dead 
Till they roll me over 
And lay my bones to rest 
Gonna live while I'm alive 
I'll sleep when I'm dead 

I feel like I'm exploding 
Going out of my head 
Gonna live while I'm alive 
I'll sleep when I'm dead 

Till I'm six feet under 
And they lay my bones to rest 
Gonna live while I'm alive 
I'll sleep when I'm dead 

Sleep when I'm dead, sleep when I'm dead 
Gonna live while I'm alive, sleep when I'm dead